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SMALL IRONIES: Prologue

Chapter One

Chapter Two

Chapter Three

Chapter Four

Chapter Five

Chapter Six

Chapter Seven

Chapter Eight

Chapter Nine

Chapter Ten

Chapter Eleven

Chapter Twelve

Chapter Thirteen

Chapter Fourteen

Chapter Fifteen

Chapter Sixteen

Chapter Seventeen

Chapter Eighteen

Chapter Nineteen

Chapter Twenty

Chapter Twenty-One

Chapter Twenty-Two

Chapter Twenty-Three

Chapter Twenty-Four

Chapter Twenty-Five

Chapter Twenty-Six

Chapter Twenty-Seven

Chapter Twenty-Eight

Chapter Twenty-Nine

Chapter Thirty

Chapter Thirty-One

Chapter Thirty-Two

Chapter Thirty-Three

Chapter Thirty-Four

Chapter Thirty-Five

Chapter Thirty-Six

Chapter Thirty-Seven

Chapter Thirty-Eight

Chapter Thirty-Nine

Chapter Forty

Chapter Forty-One

Chapter Forty-Two

Chapter Forty-Three

Chapter Forty-Four

Chapter Forty-Five

Chapter Forty-Six

Chapter Forty-Seven

Chapter Forty-Eight

Chapter Forty-Nine

Chapter Fifty

Chapter Fifty-One

Chapter Fifty-Two

Epilogue

Three Continents

From the ship at sea 1

From the ship at sea 2

From the ship at sea 3

From the ship at sea, 4

From the ship at sea, 5

From the ship at sea , 6

From Rio!!

The Trip Home

NEW SHORT STORIES

Nothing There For You

Nothing There For You, 2

Nothing There For You, 3

Nothing There For You, 4

Chase of The Thrill, 1

Chase of the Thrill, 2

Chase of the Thrill, 3

Chase of The Thrill, 4

Of Course, part1

Of Course, part 2

Of Course, part 3

Of Course, concluded

In Memory: Of My Cruise 1

In Memory: Of My Cruise 2

In Memory: Of My Cruise 3

In Memory: Of My Cruise 4

Las Vegas, 1

Las Vegas, 2

Las Vegas, 3

Las Vegas, 4

Las Vegas, concluded

Mad Moment #1

Mad Moment #2

Mad Moment #3

Mad Moment #4

Margaret Never Knows, 1

Margaret Never Knows, 2

Margaret Never Knows, 3

Margaret Never Knows, 4

Margaret Never Knows, 5

Remote, part 1

Remote, part 2

Remote, part 3

Remote, concluded

POETRY

April's Fools

Easter Sunday

...simple answers

And when they come at me

Fogged In

BROADWAY/NYC THEATRE

Love, Linda

Curtains

Barrington Stage Co. 2010

Art

Pool Boy

Sweeney Todd

The Whipping Man

Freud's Last Session

BSC ARCHIVED REVIEWS

Carousel

The Fantasticks

I Am My Own Wife

Mysteries of Harris Burdi

Private Lives

See Rock City. . .

Sleuth

...Spelling Bee

A Streetcar Named Desire

This Wonderful Life

To Kill a Mockingbird

Trumbo

Underneath the Lintel

The Violet Hour

Berkshire Opera

Le Nozze di Figaro

La Boheme

Berkshire Theatre 2010

The Guardsman

Endgame

The Last Five Years

K2

BTF ARCHIVED REVIEWS

BTF Archive

The Book Club Play

Broadway by the Year

Candida

Candide

The Caretaker

A Christmas Carol

The Einstein Project

Eleanor: Her Secret Journ

Faith Healer

Ghosts

A Man For All Seasons

Noel Coward in Two Keys

Pageant Play

Prisoner of 2nd Avenue

Red Remembers

Sick

Waiting for Godot

Chester Theatre Company

Tilted House

The Dishwashers

Almost, Maine

Blackbird

Copake Theatre Company

Nine Months

I Do! I Do!

Sour Grapes

Talking Heads

Grace & Glorie

Dorset Theatre Fest 2010

Murder on the Nile

Fallen Angels

The Pavilion

DORSET ARCHIVED REVIEWS

The Hollow

June Moon

Marry Me a Little

Merton of the Movies

St. Nicholas

A Year with Frog and Toad

Ghent Playhouse

Prisoner/2nd Avenue

Mrs. Farnsworth

Complete Wm Shakespeare

Puss in Boots

Belles

Enchanted April

Dancing at Lughnasa

The Boys Next Door

Jack and the Beanstalk

Clue: The Musical

6 Women...

Picnic

Hair Loom!

Over the River, etc.

Literature

B ob Dylan

Christmasville

A Lesser Saint

Upstreet, #1

Mac-Haydn Theatre 2010

Damn Yankees

Chicago

The Secret Garden

Anything Goes

MACHAYDN ARCHIVED REVIEWS

Beauty and the Beast

Chorus Line

Crazy For You

Hairspray

Hello, Dolly!

High Society

Joseph. . .Dreamcoat

Meet Me in St. Lou

Phantom

The Sound of Music

Sweet Charity

Music

Journeys by Robert Baksa

Mary Verdi: Precious Love

Mahagonny

NYSTI

Romeo & Juliet

And Then There Were None

King Island Christmas

A Legend of Sleepy Hollow

The Philadelphia Story

Yours, Anne

Orphan Train

Of Mice and Men

Twelve Angry Jurors

Anastasia

1776

Macbeth

Miracle On 34th Street

Arsenic and Old Lace

American Soup

Ordeal By Innocence

Reunion

OLDCASTLE ARCHIVED REVIEW

"Almost, Maine" in VT

Beauty Queen of Leenane

The Grass is Greener

One Two Three

Third

Restaurants

Bezalel Gables

Blantyre

Brazillian

Burrito Bound

SPICE!

Shakespeare & Co-2010

The Winter's Tale

Richard III

Mengelberg and Mahler

Julius Caesar

SHAKES & CO ARCHIVES

The Actors Rehearse...

All's Well That Ends Well

Bad Dates

The Canterville Ghost

Cindy Bella

Dreamer Examines Pillow

Goatwoman of Corvis Count

Golda's Balcony

Hound of Baskervilles

The Ladies Man

Liaisons Dangereuses

Othello

Pinter's Mirror

Romeo and Juliet

Shirley Valentine

Twelfth Night

White People

Special Attractions

"Earnest" in Albany

Life Is Short

Paris, 1890--Unlaced

BCC's A Christmas Carol

Sister's Christmas Catech

The Pajame Game

Her Name is Vincent

Property Known as Garland

12th Night

I Know I Came...Something

Forbidden Broadway

Doubt, a Parable

Voices' A Christmas Carol

Dickens A Christmas Carol

Marie Galante

Machinal

Capitol Steps

Late Nite Catechism

Rabbit Hole

Taming of The Shrew

Mystery of Irma Vep

I Love a Piano

The News in Revue

The Mikado

Saturday Night Liv

A Chorus Line

BCC - Christmas Carol

Morgan O-Yuki

Rent

Stageworks Hudson 2010

Imagining Madoff

Or,

Theater Barn 2010

Spider's Web

Red, White and Tuna

THEATER BARN ARCHIVES

Dirty Rotten Scoundrels

Forever Plaid

Grease

How the Other Half Loves

Leading Ladies

Moonlight and Magnolias

The Mousetrap

Murder at Howard Johnson

The Musical of Musicals

Romance, Romance

Same Time, Next Year

Veronica's Room

Visiting Mr. Green

Zanna Don't!

Visual Arts

Walking the Dog Thtr 2010

Our Town

WALKING THE DOG: ARCHIVED

Cyrano

daemons

The Gospel of John

i take your hand in mine

The Owl and the Pussycat

Under Milk Wood

Vritue, Desire, etc.

Walking the dog's HAMLET

Weston Playhouse

A Raisin in the Sun

Rent - Weston

25th Spelling Bee

Fully Committed

Les Miserables

No Child. . .

The Light in the Piazza

Williamstown Theatre 2010

After the Revolution

Six Degrees of Separation

Samuel J. and K.

Funny Thing II

Funny Thing/Forum

It's Jewdy's Show

WTF ARCHIVED REVIEWS

The Atheist

Beyond Therapy

Broke-Ology

Caroline in Jersey

Children

David Storey's "Home"

A Flea in Her Ear

Knickerbocker

Quartermaine's Terms

She Loves Me

Three Sisters

The Torch-Bearers

True West

What is..Cause of Thunder

 

THE LAS VEGAS BUCK STOPS HERE, part 4

          I’d only really been in love once in my life and we were married for forty-four years. Judith’s heart was as big as her eyes and they were the most enormous, deep brown eyes I’ve ever seen. We met when we were still young, still impressionable. There were circumstances, of course, around our meeting and our loving one another and she never tired of telling the story. I’ll repeat it for you now so you’ll begin to understand - and I’ll tell it her way, even try to tell it in her voice. Yes, I’ll try that. It would make a difference.

          "I met Mitchell Anderssen when I was nineteen years old and I hated him on the spot," she would say. "He was already much older than me. He stayed that way until I died and now he’s much older than me." I can hear her laughter in my head over that little addition to her rendition, but never mind, let’s hear her out.

          "He was already much older than me. He says he fell in love right away. I don’t know. He didn’t seem like a young man in love. He never sent me flowers or gifts. He didn’t telephone every day. He says he was shy. I think he wasn’t sure if I was interesting enough." This is wrong of Judith. She never remembered...well, I’ll tell my version afterward.

          "After we’d known each other about two years he began to look more appealing. He had gone away to work and when he came back he was different. He had written me a few letters, that’s all. I didn’t think about him while he was gone. It never occurred to me that he would ask to marry me. But when he came home again he was different. He was smarter. He was more sophisticated. He was gallant. He courted me and no man had ever done that. Most of the men I knew took me to a movie and then tried to make the moves. Mitchell Anderssen brought me candy, flowers, chatted with me for hours and always kissed my fingertips before he left. That was sweet." I did do that. I did.

          "When he finally asked me to marry him, and I was already twenty three, and he was twenty nine, I said yes. I said yes because he had always been gentle and gentlemanly. I fell in love with his manners, I suppose. But we were happy eventually." Judith never said anything more about it publicly, but I’d guess that her last statement summed up our life together after all. She was happy eventually.

          But I was in love with her from the first moment we met. I was twenty five and she was nineteen. Her brother was my partner and he made the introductions. I think he wanted to cement our work relationship with a little hitchy-koo on the side. Judith wasn’t for it. Not her. She told me straightaway that she wasn’t interested in me at all, at least not just because of her brother Phil and me, no, she was only interested in serious men who took her seriously. I couldn’t do that. I couldn’t, really. She was so young, so petite and silly and when she turned cold and serious that way it was clear she had a foot and was putting it down. That was a real inspiration, what my son would call a turn-on.

          Phil and I went to Costa Rica to set up a plant there. We were gone about two years and when I came back alone, Phil had married down there, I took up with Judith again. She was more mature and she was being pursued by lots of guys. I got in with her by sending her stuff. That was easy. On our second date, I got to second base and on our fourth date she spent an hour with me, mostly naked, in the back seat of the car I’d borrowed. After that there was no hope for us. It was marriage and that was that.

          I think she knew from the first week after our honeymoon that she was pregnant and that she wasn’t happy about it. It wasn’t that she didn’t want children, she just didn’t want mine. She didn’t love me and she knew it. Frances was born exactly nine months to the day after we got married. It’s probably that she was already with child when we took our vows. Eddie was born three years later. In between we had sex twice. She didn’t really want me near her, she said. But after Eddie, it changed and I think she did come to love me the way I loved her. And we were pretty happy together for a long time. Until Sanja.

          Sanja never came between us. Sanja was, I don’t know, a fling. She didn’t last, but the friendship did. I didn’t love her at all. She was just unavoidable, I suppose. And then she became inevitable. But Judith never forgave me. It blemished the rest of our time together until her "death by chocolate": run down by a UPS truck. That name for it came from Eddie. It was easier for him, and for me too I think, that way.

♣

          So here I was, suddenly feeling a kid again. Delly Delaney, a man I’d just met, made me feel the way Judith had so long before. It made no sense. He was a man and I was a man and I didn’t favor men. There’d been Judith whom I’d loved and Sanja I’d made love to, but there’d never been a man. It made no sense at all.

          I stood up near the edge of the pool and I thought about the simple feelings I had, the way I felt and probably the stupid look on my face that I couldn’t see, but sure felt. How was I supposed to deal with this? What was I supposed to do? What would be expected and what did I, personally, want? I wondered if the rest of my life would be nothing but questions without answers, riddles unsolved. I was seventy-two - spell it out - and I wasn’t planning on a significant life change. This was just a visit to Sanja, sex probably in her big brass bed, then back home to recover from my financial and emotional losses. Now I had a crisis to deal with in my spare time.

          Sanja had disappeared from her towel and I hadn’t noticed. I was too engrossed in my thoughts, memories of Judith, thoughts of Delly. I looked around for her and finally spotted her across the pool, near the bathhouse. She was snuggled up with someone, a man, his arms around her. They were kissing and it was passionate, that was clear even at a distance. Somehow he disengaged a hand and opened a door behind him and they slipped inside the building, still mouth-to-mouth, still involved in their visceral engagement. I didn’t mean to do it, but I was curious, so I sauntered around the pool until I’d reached the other side. I sidled up to the building and found an uncurtained window. I looked in, discreetly, and saw them all too clearly, lit by the sunlight though a window on the opposite wall. They were really into one another, and him especially, and his face was as clear as day. It was Delly Delaney. He was my lover’s lover.

- continued next Sunday -

Send the author your comments, or thoughts using the form on the NEW SHORT STORIES page.

 


 

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