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SMALL IRONIES: Prologue

Chapter One

Chapter Two

Chapter Three

Chapter Four

Chapter Five

Chapter Six

Chapter Seven

Chapter Eight

Chapter Nine

Chapter Ten

Chapter Eleven

Chapter Twelve

Chapter Thirteen

Chapter Fourteen

Chapter Fifteen

Chapter Sixteen

Chapter Seventeen

Chapter Eighteen

Chapter Nineteen

Chapter Twenty

Chapter Twenty-One

Chapter Twenty-Two

Chapter Twenty-Three

Chapter Twenty-Four

Chapter Twenty-Five

Chapter Twenty-Six

Chapter Twenty-Seven

Chapter Twenty-Eight

Chapter Twenty-Nine

Chapter Thirty

Chapter Thirty-One

Chapter Thirty-Two

Chapter Thirty-Three

Chapter Thirty-Four

Chapter Thirty-Five

Chapter Thirty-Six

Chapter Thirty-Seven

Chapter Thirty-Eight

Chapter Thirty-Nine

Chapter Forty

Chapter Forty-One

Chapter Forty-Two

Chapter Forty-Three

Chapter Forty-Four

Chapter Forty-Five

Chapter Forty-Six

Chapter Forty-Seven

Chapter Forty-Eight

Chapter Forty-Nine

Chapter Fifty

Chapter Fifty-One

Chapter Fifty-Two

Epilogue

Three Continents

From the ship at sea 1

From the ship at sea 2

From the ship at sea 3

From the ship at sea, 4

From the ship at sea, 5

From the ship at sea , 6

From Rio!!

The Trip Home

NEW SHORT STORIES

Nothing There For You

Nothing There For You, 2

Nothing There For You, 3

Nothing There For You, 4

Chase of The Thrill, 1

Chase of the Thrill, 2

Chase of the Thrill, 3

Chase of The Thrill, 4

Of Course, part1

Of Course, part 2

Of Course, part 3

Of Course, concluded

In Memory: Of My Cruise 1

In Memory: Of My Cruise 2

In Memory: Of My Cruise 3

In Memory: Of My Cruise 4

Las Vegas, 1

Las Vegas, 2

Las Vegas, 3

Las Vegas, 4

Las Vegas, concluded

Mad Moment #1

Mad Moment #2

Mad Moment #3

Mad Moment #4

Margaret Never Knows, 1

Margaret Never Knows, 2

Margaret Never Knows, 3

Margaret Never Knows, 4

Margaret Never Knows, 5

Remote, part 1

Remote, part 2

Remote, part 3

Remote, concluded

POETRY

April's Fools

Easter Sunday

...simple answers

And when they come at me

Fogged In

BROADWAY/NYC THEATRE

Love, Linda

Curtains

Barrington Stage Company

The Fantasticks

A Streetcar Named Desire

Sleuth

Underneath the Lintel

Carousel

Freud's Last Session

This Wonderful Life

To Kill a Mockingbird

See Rock City. . .

Private Lives

The Violet Hour

Mysteries of Harris Burdi

...Spelling Bee

I Am My Own Wife

Trumbo

Berkshire Opera

Le Nozze di Figaro

La Boheme

Berkshire Theatre Fest.

Red Remembers

Sick

Ghosts

Prisoner of 2nd Avenue

Candide

The Einstein Project

Broadway by the Year

Faith Healer

A Christmas Carol

Eleanor: Her Secret Journ

Noel Coward in Two Keys

Waiting for Godot

A Man For All Seasons

The Book Club Play

Pageant Play

Candida

The Caretaker

BTF Archive

Chester Theatre Company

Tilted House

The Dishwashers

Almost, Maine

Blackbird

Copake Theatre Company

Nine Months

I Do! I Do!

Sour Grapes

Talking Heads

Grace & Glorie

Dorset Theatre Festival

Marry Me a Little

The Hollow

Merton of the Movies

St. Nicholas

June Moon

A Year with Frog and Toad

Ghent Playhouse

Mrs. Farnsworth

Complete Wm Shakespeare

Puss in Boots

Belles

Enchanted April

Dancing at Lughnasa

The Boys Next Door

Jack and the Beanstalk

Clue: The Musical

6 Women...

Picnic

Hair Loom!

Over the River, etc.

Literature

B ob Dylan

Christmasville

A Lesser Saint

Upstreet, #1

Mac-Haydn Theatre

Meet Me in St. Lou

Crazy For You

Sweet Charity

Beauty and the Beast

Hello, Dolly!

Joseph. . .Dreamcoat

High Society

The Sound of Music

Phantom

Hairspray

Chorus Line

Music

Journeys by Robert Baksa

Mary Verdi: Precious Love

Mahagonny

NYSTI

Romeo & Juliet

And Then There Were None

King Island Christmas

A Legend of Sleepy Hollow

The Philadelphia Story

Yours, Anne

Orphan Train

Of Mice and Men

Twelve Angry Jurors

Anastasia

1776

Macbeth

Miracle On 34th Street

Arsenic and Old Lace

American Soup

Ordeal By Innocence

Reunion

Oldcastle Theatre Company

Third

Beauty Queen of Leenane

"Almost, Maine" in VT

One Two Three

The Grass is Greener

Restaurants

Bezalel Gables

Blantyre

Brazillian

Burrito Bound

SPICE!

Shakespeare & Co.

Liaisons Dangereuses

Cindy Bella

Hound of Baskervilles

White People

Dreamer Examines Pillow

Twelfth Night

Golda's Balcony

Pinter's Mirror

The Actors Rehearse...

Shirley Valentine

Romeo and Juliet

Bad Dates

The Canterville Ghost

Goatwoman of Corvis Count

Othello

All's Well That Ends Well

The Ladies Man

Special Attractions

Life Is Short

Paris, 1890--Unlaced

BCC's A Christmas Carol

Sister's Christmas Catech

i take your hand in mine

The Pajame Game

Her Name is Vincent

Property Known as Garland

12th Night

I Know I Came...Something

Vritue, Desire, etc.

Forbidden Broadway

Doubt, a Parable

Voices' A Christmas Carol

Dickens A Christmas Carol

Marie Galante

Machinal

Under Milk Wood

The Owl and the Pussycat

Capitol Steps

Late Nite Catechism

Rabbit Hole

Taming of The Shrew

Mystery of Irma Vep

daemons

I Love a Piano

Walking the dog's HAMLET

The News in Revue

Cyrano

The Mikado

Saturday Night Liv

A Chorus Line

The Gospel of John

BCC - Christmas Carol

Morgan O-Yuki

Rent

Theater Barn

Moonlight and Magnolias

Dirty Rotten Scoundrels

Romance, Romance

Zanna Don't!

Veronica's Room

Leading Ladies

Murder at Howard Johnson

Visiting Mr. Green

Grease

Forever Plaid

The Musical of Musicals

The Mousetrap

Same Time, Next Year

How the Other Half Loves

Visual Arts

Weston Playhouse

A Raisin in the Sun

Rent - Weston

25th Spelling Bee

Fully Committed

Les Miserables

No Child. . .

The Light in the Piazza

Williamstown Theatre Fest

Quartermaine's Terms

Caroline in Jersey

The Torch-Bearers

What is..Cause of Thunder

True West

Knickerbocker

Children

David Storey's "Home"

A Flea in Her Ear

Three Sisters

Broke-Ology

She Loves Me

The Atheist

Beyond Therapy

 

Margaret Never Knows, Does She
(Part Four)

By J. Peter Bergman

          Rehearsed, the new play was ready to launch. Two weeks of readings, staging rehearsals, technical nights and costume fittings had helped Margaret prepare for her seemingly thankless part in the play. Her role, now called Janette Morgan, was rather straightforward and, as she had told people, really required her to look interested while others spoke and did things. She did have a good moment or two in each act where she said things that proved to be oddly relevant, but they were only moments and Margaret held out no hope for any recognition from this experience, not from critics or audience, not from her peers either.

          At the first preview things seemed to be going well. The audience was responsive and even the few ticket-buyers among them seemed to be supportive. As near as Margaret could tell no one left during the intermission, which she knew was a good thing, one that didn’t always happen.

          Her scene in the final moment of the play was her best opportunity, she knew, now that the lines had been adjusted into a better fit for her and her character. Janette Morgan was a thirty-something spinster with a long-lasting crush on the leading man’s older brother, a character named Frank Bird. Throughout the play she spent most of her time ogling Frank, played by Hanson Michaels, yet another member of the second company, a young man who played older men with finesse. Her few lines were always thrown in his direction, usually to his departing back. In this scene, however, she had the chance to converse. Barely. Her dialogue went like this:

JANETTE

               Frank. Sit with me for a moment. (He does.) You must know I’ve always cared about you, what you do, how you are, like that.

FRANK

               I know it. I always did know it. It’s just that you are such a pretty thing and I can’t imagine what my life with you would be like. I can’t see us old together. I can’t see us at the end of life, Janette. I can only see us as we are right now. You so young and beautiful. Me, older and graying, and paunchy and sour.

JANETTE

               You’re not sour. You’re not, Frank.

FRANK

               Ah, so lovely. But so wrong. You have no idea how hurt I was when Felicia left me. You can’t imagine what I went through when the bank failed. You cannot possibly see what I’ve seen in my lifetime, the despair of armies of humanity when war devastates their homelands, the misery of soldiers who bring those people only the tip end of bayonets.

JANETTE

           Frank, don’t....

FRANK

               Ah, you are so sweet. So very gentle and concerned. I feel it in the simplicity of your utterances. I would marry you, Janette, just for the sympathy, that sweetness. It could keep me alive for an eternity. It could.

JANETTE

               Marry me then.

FRANK

               And let you lose yourself, your hopes and your bright future in the gloom and darkness of my existence? I don’t think so. I couldn’t ask you to bear my name.

JANETTE

               Then bear mine instead. Lose all that haunts your past in the anonymity that comes from being Frank Morgan.

FRANK

               The movie star? The wizard of Oz? I don’t think so. No. I really don’t think so.

(With that, he exits leaving Janette alone on the sofa, sobbing. Curtain.)

‡

          Margaret had only that much to work with after a frustrating night of nothing and even though the light was still being thrown onto her fellow actor she made the most of what had been given to her. It was certainly an improvement over the role as written, approached at that first rehearsal when Serious (bang), Serious (bang), Serious (bang) had been the order of the day followed by her ridicule at the hands of the director. He, curiously, had later devoted himself to making her role work for her.

          "Any part you play," he had said to her at the next rehearsal, "is like a jigsaw puzzle where the pieces are identically colored. You have to figure out how those all-too similar bits fit together."

          "I understand that," she said back to him, "but what I don’t understand, right now, is her." She smiled wanly at Frank, the real Frank and not the character. He smiled back at her and, after a single intake of breath, sighed.

          "I see my work is cut out for me," he said. "So, let’s begin tackling this woman and find out for ourselves who she’s supposed to be in all this."

          By the end of the basic rehearsal period he had made progress with Margaret’s interpretation of the role. She wasn’t uncomfortable with her long silences any longer, for he had choreographed her into a different sort of reality, a "wait and see" mentality that factored out physically into an ever-in-motion revolution about the stage. She moved like a cat stalking an equally predatory victim, but one not up to her size or standards. There was a constant caution about her and her meanderings always brought her to a perceived goal, though rarely to the one she was hunting - that was always Frank Bird. This feline femininity fostered a freedom she hadn’t felt before. She even ventured to try it out on a date with one more member of the company, but he simply freaked out and left her at the bar of the small restaurant in downtown Stockbridge, leaving her to walk the two miles back to the Lavan Center where she lived.

          On this first night with a real audience Margaret found that her restaged, rethought character was pulling a great deal of attention. Even with very little to say she was now a major presence and at the curtain call she received the lion’s share of applause, even a cheer or two. Her Frank Morgan, Hanson Michaels, shot her a very nasty sidelong glance as the lights dimmed on them for the last time that night. And backstage, immediately after, he let her have it.

          "You scene-stealing little bitch!" Michaels shouted at her. "Who the hell do you think you are?"

          "I’m only doing what the director gave me."

          "Smug, prissy little virgin!" Michael slapped her with words.

          "I am not ‘little,’" she answered him, her voice also rising to near-shout level.

          "Still smug, then, still prissy and still a virgin!" His reply was bitter. "I don’t think I can take three weeks of this crap!"

          "You’ll have to," came the director’s response from across the backstage cross-over ramp. "You’ll have to do what little you do, Hanson, and do it just the way I gave it to you or I’ll have you hauled off the stage with an old-fashioned ‘crook.’ And I know we have on in props somewhere."

          "I’m all right, Frank, let it go," Margaret said to her director. She had placed herself between him and Hanson.

          "Don’t defend me, Margaret," Hanson said, shoving her aside. "I can handle myself quite well."

          "Don’t make me hit you, Hanson," Frank said quietly.

          "I wouldn’t put it past you to knock me out cold, just to get on stage yourself in the part," Hanson spat out at Frank.

          "Hanson, stop it!" Margaret heard her voice say the words, but they made no sense. He wasn’t actually doing anything. "Hanson, please."

          The young actor backed away from his angry director. He looked at Margaret for a moment, then at Frank, then he turned and walked away, muttering things that neither of them could quite hear nor understand.

          "He’ll get over that, and he’ll be fine," Margaret said. Frank stared at her for a moment.

          "You know that, do you?" He asked her. She nodded but felt herself grow quite cold as he spoke again. "How could you know that, Margaret? Margaret NEVER knows, does she?" Her hands were icy, and her throat was frozen. "Margaret never knows." He paused, looked at her unable to respond to him. "Does she?"

Concluded Next Sunday

 


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