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SMALL IRONIES: Prologue

Chapter One

Chapter Two

Chapter Three

Chapter Four

Chapter Five

Chapter Six

Chapter Seven

Chapter Eight

Chapter Nine

Chapter Ten

Chapter Eleven

Chapter Twelve

Chapter Thirteen

Chapter Fourteen

Chapter Fifteen

Chapter Sixteen

Chapter Seventeen

Chapter Eighteen

Chapter Nineteen

Chapter Twenty

Chapter Twenty-One

Chapter Twenty-Two

Chapter Twenty-Three

Chapter Twenty-Four

Chapter Twenty-Five

Chapter Twenty-Six

Chapter Twenty-Seven

Chapter Twenty-Eight

Chapter Twenty-Nine

Chapter Thirty

Chapter Thirty-One

Chapter Thirty-Two

Chapter Thirty-Three

Chapter Thirty-Four

Chapter Thirty-Five

Chapter Thirty-Six

Chapter Thirty-Seven

Chapter Thirty-Eight

Chapter Thirty-Nine

Chapter Forty

Chapter Forty-One

Chapter Forty-Two

Chapter Forty-Three

Chapter Forty-Four

Chapter Forty-Five

Chapter Forty-Six

Chapter Forty-Seven

Chapter Forty-Eight

Chapter Forty-Nine

Chapter Fifty

Chapter Fifty-One

Chapter Fifty-Two

Epilogue

Three Continents

From the ship at sea 1

From the ship at sea 2

From the ship at sea 3

From the ship at sea, 4

From the ship at sea, 5

From the ship at sea , 6

From Rio!!

The Trip Home

NEW SHORT STORIES

Nothing There For You

Nothing There For You, 2

Nothing There For You, 3

Nothing There For You, 4

Chase of The Thrill, 1

Chase of the Thrill, 2

Chase of the Thrill, 3

Chase of The Thrill, 4

Of Course, part1

Of Course, part 2

Of Course, part 3

Of Course, concluded

In Memory: Of My Cruise 1

In Memory: Of My Cruise 2

In Memory: Of My Cruise 3

In Memory: Of My Cruise 4

Las Vegas, 1

Las Vegas, 2

Las Vegas, 3

Las Vegas, 4

Las Vegas, concluded

Mad Moment #1

Mad Moment #2

Mad Moment #3

Mad Moment #4

Margaret Never Knows, 1

Margaret Never Knows, 2

Margaret Never Knows, 3

Margaret Never Knows, 4

Margaret Never Knows, 5

Remote, part 1

Remote, part 2

Remote, part 3

Remote, concluded

POETRY

April's Fools

Easter Sunday

...simple answers

And when they come at me

Fogged In

BROADWAY/NYC THEATRE

Love, Linda

Curtains

Barrington Stage Co. 2010

Art

Pool Boy

Sweeney Todd

The Whipping Man

Freud's Last Session

BSC ARCHIVED REVIEWS

Carousel

The Fantasticks

I Am My Own Wife

Mysteries of Harris Burdi

Private Lives

See Rock City. . .

Sleuth

...Spelling Bee

A Streetcar Named Desire

This Wonderful Life

To Kill a Mockingbird

Trumbo

Underneath the Lintel

The Violet Hour

Berkshire Opera

Le Nozze di Figaro

La Boheme

Berkshire Theatre 2010

The Guardsman

Endgame

The Last Five Years

K2

BTF ARCHIVED REVIEWS

BTF Archive

The Book Club Play

Broadway by the Year

Candida

Candide

The Caretaker

A Christmas Carol

The Einstein Project

Eleanor: Her Secret Journ

Faith Healer

Ghosts

A Man For All Seasons

Noel Coward in Two Keys

Pageant Play

Prisoner of 2nd Avenue

Red Remembers

Sick

Waiting for Godot

Chester Theatre Company

Tilted House

The Dishwashers

Almost, Maine

Blackbird

Copake Theatre Company

Nine Months

I Do! I Do!

Sour Grapes

Talking Heads

Grace & Glorie

Dorset Theatre Fest 2010

Murder on the Nile

Fallen Angels

The Pavilion

DORSET ARCHIVED REVIEWS

The Hollow

June Moon

Marry Me a Little

Merton of the Movies

St. Nicholas

A Year with Frog and Toad

Ghent Playhouse

Prisoner/2nd Avenue

Mrs. Farnsworth

Complete Wm Shakespeare

Puss in Boots

Belles

Enchanted April

Dancing at Lughnasa

The Boys Next Door

Jack and the Beanstalk

Clue: The Musical

6 Women...

Picnic

Hair Loom!

Over the River, etc.

Literature

B ob Dylan

Christmasville

A Lesser Saint

Upstreet, #1

Mac-Haydn Theatre 2010

Damn Yankees

Chicago

The Secret Garden

Anything Goes

MACHAYDN ARCHIVED REVIEWS

Beauty and the Beast

Chorus Line

Crazy For You

Hairspray

Hello, Dolly!

High Society

Joseph. . .Dreamcoat

Meet Me in St. Lou

Phantom

The Sound of Music

Sweet Charity

Music

Journeys by Robert Baksa

Mary Verdi: Precious Love

Mahagonny

NYSTI

Romeo & Juliet

And Then There Were None

King Island Christmas

A Legend of Sleepy Hollow

The Philadelphia Story

Yours, Anne

Orphan Train

Of Mice and Men

Twelve Angry Jurors

Anastasia

1776

Macbeth

Miracle On 34th Street

Arsenic and Old Lace

American Soup

Ordeal By Innocence

Reunion

OLDCASTLE ARCHIVED REVIEW

"Almost, Maine" in VT

Beauty Queen of Leenane

The Grass is Greener

One Two Three

Third

Restaurants

Bezalel Gables

Blantyre

Brazillian

Burrito Bound

SPICE!

Shakespeare & Co-2010

The Winter's Tale

Richard III

Mengelberg and Mahler

Julius Caesar

SHAKES & CO ARCHIVES

The Actors Rehearse...

All's Well That Ends Well

Bad Dates

The Canterville Ghost

Cindy Bella

Dreamer Examines Pillow

Goatwoman of Corvis Count

Golda's Balcony

Hound of Baskervilles

The Ladies Man

Liaisons Dangereuses

Othello

Pinter's Mirror

Romeo and Juliet

Shirley Valentine

Twelfth Night

White People

Special Attractions

"Earnest" in Albany

Life Is Short

Paris, 1890--Unlaced

BCC's A Christmas Carol

Sister's Christmas Catech

The Pajame Game

Her Name is Vincent

Property Known as Garland

12th Night

I Know I Came...Something

Forbidden Broadway

Doubt, a Parable

Voices' A Christmas Carol

Dickens A Christmas Carol

Marie Galante

Machinal

Capitol Steps

Late Nite Catechism

Rabbit Hole

Taming of The Shrew

Mystery of Irma Vep

I Love a Piano

The News in Revue

The Mikado

Saturday Night Liv

A Chorus Line

BCC - Christmas Carol

Morgan O-Yuki

Rent

Stageworks Hudson 2010

Imagining Madoff

Or,

Theater Barn 2010

Spider's Web

Red, White and Tuna

THEATER BARN ARCHIVES

Dirty Rotten Scoundrels

Forever Plaid

Grease

How the Other Half Loves

Leading Ladies

Moonlight and Magnolias

The Mousetrap

Murder at Howard Johnson

The Musical of Musicals

Romance, Romance

Same Time, Next Year

Veronica's Room

Visiting Mr. Green

Zanna Don't!

Visual Arts

Walking the Dog Thtr 2010

Our Town

WALKING THE DOG: ARCHIVED

Cyrano

daemons

The Gospel of John

i take your hand in mine

The Owl and the Pussycat

Under Milk Wood

Vritue, Desire, etc.

Walking the dog's HAMLET

Weston Playhouse

A Raisin in the Sun

Rent - Weston

25th Spelling Bee

Fully Committed

Les Miserables

No Child. . .

The Light in the Piazza

Williamstown Theatre 2010

After the Revolution

Six Degrees of Separation

Samuel J. and K.

Funny Thing II

Funny Thing/Forum

It's Jewdy's Show

WTF ARCHIVED REVIEWS

The Atheist

Beyond Therapy

Broke-Ology

Caroline in Jersey

Children

David Storey's "Home"

A Flea in Her Ear

Knickerbocker

Quartermaine's Terms

She Loves Me

Three Sisters

The Torch-Bearers

True West

What is..Cause of Thunder

Remote, Part 3

          So we sat there for a while in the heavy mist, there at the corner of Hemlock, Hemlock and Hardy, a streetcorner with a legal firm for its ID. We sat and waited in silence for about ten minutes and nothing unusual, or ordinary for that matter, happened. That’s when I remember the map.

          "I can find us," I said softly to Jelly. "We got that old map of yours in the glove compartment." I reached to open it, but Jelly reached over and grabbed my hand and stopped me.

          "I don’t think we should open anything, man," he said. "You don’t know what’s in there."

          Well, I did, I thought. The map, his registration for the car and the book about its parts that no one ever reads, a few loose joints, a flashlight and a separate keyring with his house keys on it, in case he loses the ones he carries in his pocket. That’s what I thought. What I knew.

          "I know what’s there," I said to him. "I’m no coward." I reached for it again, but he grabbed my wrist and jerked my hand away.

          "Don’t!" he said sharply. I pulled free of him and reached for the pushbutton release with my other hand at the same time. The door flopped down, just like it always did, making a click and then a clack as it did so. It hit my knee and made me flinch and that reaction communicated right away to the already hyper-nervous Jelly.

          "Shit, man, I told you not to!" he shouted, reaching past me to shut the thing. I was quicker though, and grabbed the map out just as he slammed it shut on me. "What if...?"

          "What if what? I interrupted him, anger and disgust in my voice.

          "What if something jumped out of there and got us? That’s what."

          "Nothing did."

          "It could have. You know it could have."

          "You’re just plain chicken-shit, Jelly. You’re an old-fashioned aspic, that’s what you are."

          "Don’t you be giving me this crap," he snorted. "You just as scared as me."

          "The Hell (big H) I am!"

          Jelly tried to grab the map out of my hand, but I was quicker. I tossed it into the tiny back seat before he could get a hand on it. I tried to move over a bit, turn around and grab it back, but it had hit the seatback, bounced and ended up on the floor. I squeezed myself up onto the back of my seat and reached, but it was just too far down. I moved up a bit further.

          "What you think you doing?" Jelly hissed at me.

          "I’m going over, Jelly. I’m putting myself in the back with the map and that’s where I’m staying, too. I don’t need this shit from you, Man. I got research to do."

          "You ain’t going nowhere. Sit back down."

          "Crap!" I sneered at him. "I’m going over!"

          Without another word I shoved myself over the seat, taking a pretty neat somersault action into the back seat. My feet hit the ceiling and then the slanted rear window. I almost thought I was going to be stuck in that position, but my head slipped slowly off the seat and into the tight space between the seat cushion and the back of the front seats and that released by feet and, with some effort, I was able to right myself and slip on the rear seat of the VW bug. I grabbed up the map and started to search the listings for Hemlock Drive. It didn’t take me long to find it. And that was the problem. It wasn’t hard to spot and it wasn’t where I knew we had to be.

           Tracing a straight line, or as straight a line as I could with a shaky finger, it seemed we had drifted about twelve miles off course, not an easy thing to do in a car with steering wheel, even at night. Instead of going to the North we had moved northwest into territory I didn’t know at all well. The corner of Hemlock Drive and Hardy Drive was marked on the map and, to my surprise, there was an x on the map right there at that intersection.

          "What’s this x on the map, Jelly?" I asked him from the relative insecurity of that back seat.

          "Never put no x on any map, Steve," he said.

          "Well there’s one right here on Hardy and Hemlock." I shoved the open, but scrunched, paper toward him, pointing at the inked in mark.

          "Never did that," he said.

          "Well, someone did. This your map?

          "Yeah, I guess."

          "And you didn’t make the mark?"

          "Nope, never did."

          "Well, this x marks the spot we’re at right now, except there’s a signpost missing and no second Hemlock street..."

          "Drive!" he corrected me.

          "Yeah, right, Hemlock Drive. Escuse me."

          I was thinking about a drink just then, something long and cool and refreshing, something that could clear my head and end the confusion. We were somewhere remote from where we set out to be, but it was a place marked on a map we had. We had hit something; there had been those long, lovely legs on the front of the car; we were fogged in; we were off course; we were late; there were weird noises in the night. I braced myself and summed it all up for Jelly, just like I did right now.

          "And..?" was all he said when I finished.

          "And we got to get out of here, now, Man!"

          "How?" he asked me.

          "Turn this bug around and let’s just go back the way we came." It sounded right and easy to me.

          "Can’t," he said. "We hit something."

          "Oh, yeah, right, I forgot." I had forgotten this point. "So, what do we do?"

          "Got to find out what we hit and if there’s damage."

          "Okay. How do we do that?"

          "One of us got to get out and look."

          "Okay." I paused. "Who’s gonna do it?" I knew Jelly was calmer now than he’d been the last time this came up. I hoped he’d volunteer, but in my heart I knew better. My instincts were right on the money.

          "You the passenger, Steve. This is my bug. You get out and take a peek."

          "But you’re the owner, Jelly, so you should probably assess the damage."

          "You tell me what you see, Steve, and I’ll assess from right here."

          I was prepared to argue this point all night if I had to, but I knew that in the end he’d win and I’d get out and look around, so I just grunted and said I’d do it. Getting out of the back seat of the old bug isn’t as easy as getting in, even head over heels atop the front seat. Jelly reached over and gently disengaged the lock and through the handle forward, opening the passenger side door. I slowly, reluctantly pushed up the seat back and gently...very gently...put my right foot out through the opening and reached for the ground.

          And that was that. Something I couldn’t yet see had me by the ankle, tugged at my leg, pulled me forward, sideways into the thickening white mist. I think I shouted, but I don’t remember a sound. I only recall Jelly’s eyes widening farther than I’d ever seen eyes go before as he receded from me, him still in the driver’s seat and me in the world of Hemlock, Hemlock and Hardy.

          It was the slam of the VW bug’s passenger door that did it, finally. I was no longer what I’d been up to that moment and fear, senseless, baseless fear, was suddenly real, horrid, and blinding.

 

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