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SMALL IRONIES: Prologue

Chapter One

Chapter Two

Chapter Three

Chapter Four

Chapter Five

Chapter Six

Chapter Seven

Chapter Eight

Chapter Nine

Chapter Ten

Chapter Eleven

Chapter Twelve

Chapter Thirteen

Chapter Fourteen

Chapter Fifteen

Chapter Sixteen

Chapter Seventeen

Chapter Eighteen

Chapter Nineteen

Chapter Twenty

Chapter Twenty-One

Chapter Twenty-Two

Chapter Twenty-Three

Chapter Twenty-Four

Chapter Twenty-Five

Chapter Twenty-Six

Chapter Twenty-Seven

Chapter Twenty-Eight

Chapter Twenty-Nine

Chapter Thirty

Chapter Thirty-One

Chapter Thirty-Two

Chapter Thirty-Three

Chapter Thirty-Four

Chapter Thirty-Five

Chapter Thirty-Six

Chapter Thirty-Seven

Chapter Thirty-Eight

Chapter Thirty-Nine

Chapter Forty

Chapter Forty-One

Chapter Forty-Two

Chapter Forty-Three

Chapter Forty-Four

Chapter Forty-Five

Chapter Forty-Six

Chapter Forty-Seven

Chapter Forty-Eight

Chapter Forty-Nine

Chapter Fifty

Chapter Fifty-One

Chapter Fifty-Two

Epilogue

Three Continents

From the ship at sea 1

From the ship at sea 2

From the ship at sea 3

From the ship at sea, 4

From the ship at sea, 5

From the ship at sea , 6

From Rio!!

The Trip Home

NEW SHORT STORIES

Nothing There For You

Nothing There For You, 2

Nothing There For You, 3

Nothing There For You, 4

Chase of The Thrill, 1

Chase of the Thrill, 2

Chase of the Thrill, 3

Chase of The Thrill, 4

Of Course, part1

Of Course, part 2

Of Course, part 3

Of Course, concluded

In Memory: Of My Cruise 1

In Memory: Of My Cruise 2

In Memory: Of My Cruise 3

In Memory: Of My Cruise 4

Las Vegas, 1

Las Vegas, 2

Las Vegas, 3

Las Vegas, 4

Las Vegas, concluded

Mad Moment #1

Mad Moment #2

Mad Moment #3

Mad Moment #4

Margaret Never Knows, 1

Margaret Never Knows, 2

Margaret Never Knows, 3

Margaret Never Knows, 4

Margaret Never Knows, 5

Remote, part 1

Remote, part 2

Remote, part 3

Remote, concluded

POETRY

April's Fools

Easter Sunday

...simple answers

And when they come at me

Fogged In

BROADWAY/NYC THEATRE

Love, Linda

Curtains

Barrington Stage Co. 2010

Art

Pool Boy

Sweeney Todd

The Whipping Man

Freud's Last Session

BSC ARCHIVED REVIEWS

Carousel

The Fantasticks

I Am My Own Wife

Mysteries of Harris Burdi

Private Lives

See Rock City. . .

Sleuth

...Spelling Bee

A Streetcar Named Desire

This Wonderful Life

To Kill a Mockingbird

Trumbo

Underneath the Lintel

The Violet Hour

Berkshire Opera

Le Nozze di Figaro

La Boheme

Berkshire Theatre 2010

The Guardsman

Endgame

The Last Five Years

K2

BTF ARCHIVED REVIEWS

BTF Archive

The Book Club Play

Broadway by the Year

Candida

Candide

The Caretaker

A Christmas Carol

The Einstein Project

Eleanor: Her Secret Journ

Faith Healer

Ghosts

A Man For All Seasons

Noel Coward in Two Keys

Pageant Play

Prisoner of 2nd Avenue

Red Remembers

Sick

Waiting for Godot

Chester Theatre Company

Tilted House

The Dishwashers

Almost, Maine

Blackbird

Copake Theatre Company

Nine Months

I Do! I Do!

Sour Grapes

Talking Heads

Grace & Glorie

Dorset Theatre Fest 2010

Murder on the Nile

Fallen Angels

The Pavilion

DORSET ARCHIVED REVIEWS

The Hollow

June Moon

Marry Me a Little

Merton of the Movies

St. Nicholas

A Year with Frog and Toad

Ghent Playhouse

Prisoner/2nd Avenue

Mrs. Farnsworth

Complete Wm Shakespeare

Puss in Boots

Belles

Enchanted April

Dancing at Lughnasa

The Boys Next Door

Jack and the Beanstalk

Clue: The Musical

6 Women...

Picnic

Hair Loom!

Over the River, etc.

Literature

B ob Dylan

Christmasville

A Lesser Saint

Upstreet, #1

Mac-Haydn Theatre 2010

Damn Yankees

Chicago

The Secret Garden

Anything Goes

MACHAYDN ARCHIVED REVIEWS

Beauty and the Beast

Chorus Line

Crazy For You

Hairspray

Hello, Dolly!

High Society

Joseph. . .Dreamcoat

Meet Me in St. Lou

Phantom

The Sound of Music

Sweet Charity

Music

Journeys by Robert Baksa

Mary Verdi: Precious Love

Mahagonny

NYSTI

Romeo & Juliet

And Then There Were None

King Island Christmas

A Legend of Sleepy Hollow

The Philadelphia Story

Yours, Anne

Orphan Train

Of Mice and Men

Twelve Angry Jurors

Anastasia

1776

Macbeth

Miracle On 34th Street

Arsenic and Old Lace

American Soup

Ordeal By Innocence

Reunion

OLDCASTLE ARCHIVED REVIEW

"Almost, Maine" in VT

Beauty Queen of Leenane

The Grass is Greener

One Two Three

Third

Restaurants

Bezalel Gables

Blantyre

Brazillian

Burrito Bound

SPICE!

Shakespeare & Co-2010

The Winter's Tale

Richard III

Mengelberg and Mahler

Julius Caesar

SHAKES & CO ARCHIVES

The Actors Rehearse...

All's Well That Ends Well

Bad Dates

The Canterville Ghost

Cindy Bella

Dreamer Examines Pillow

Goatwoman of Corvis Count

Golda's Balcony

Hound of Baskervilles

The Ladies Man

Liaisons Dangereuses

Othello

Pinter's Mirror

Romeo and Juliet

Shirley Valentine

Twelfth Night

White People

Special Attractions

"Earnest" in Albany

Life Is Short

Paris, 1890--Unlaced

BCC's A Christmas Carol

Sister's Christmas Catech

The Pajame Game

Her Name is Vincent

Property Known as Garland

12th Night

I Know I Came...Something

Forbidden Broadway

Doubt, a Parable

Voices' A Christmas Carol

Dickens A Christmas Carol

Marie Galante

Machinal

Capitol Steps

Late Nite Catechism

Rabbit Hole

Taming of The Shrew

Mystery of Irma Vep

I Love a Piano

The News in Revue

The Mikado

Saturday Night Liv

A Chorus Line

BCC - Christmas Carol

Morgan O-Yuki

Rent

Stageworks Hudson 2010

Imagining Madoff

Or,

Theater Barn 2010

Spider's Web

Red, White and Tuna

THEATER BARN ARCHIVES

Dirty Rotten Scoundrels

Forever Plaid

Grease

How the Other Half Loves

Leading Ladies

Moonlight and Magnolias

The Mousetrap

Murder at Howard Johnson

The Musical of Musicals

Romance, Romance

Same Time, Next Year

Veronica's Room

Visiting Mr. Green

Zanna Don't!

Visual Arts

Walking the Dog Thtr 2010

Our Town

WALKING THE DOG: ARCHIVED

Cyrano

daemons

The Gospel of John

i take your hand in mine

The Owl and the Pussycat

Under Milk Wood

Vritue, Desire, etc.

Walking the dog's HAMLET

Weston Playhouse

A Raisin in the Sun

Rent - Weston

25th Spelling Bee

Fully Committed

Les Miserables

No Child. . .

The Light in the Piazza

Williamstown Theatre 2010

After the Revolution

Six Degrees of Separation

Samuel J. and K.

Funny Thing II

Funny Thing/Forum

It's Jewdy's Show

WTF ARCHIVED REVIEWS

The Atheist

Beyond Therapy

Broke-Ology

Caroline in Jersey

Children

David Storey's "Home"

A Flea in Her Ear

Knickerbocker

Quartermaine's Terms

She Loves Me

Three Sisters

The Torch-Bearers

True West

What is..Cause of Thunder

Chapter Eight


From Brewer’s The Dictionary of Phrase and Fable:


"Right Foot Foremost: In Rome a boy was

stationed at the door of a mansion to

caution visitors not to cross the threshold

with their left foot, which would have

been an ill omen."


     For almost three weeks Mikhael Staffiev had coached Freddy Wales on stilt-walking. In that short time, with only an hour a day to practice she had gotten to be very good at it. She had been sure that should could master the art, even though her earliest attempts had proven to be awkward and dangerous. After her fifth fall, a topple that took her over a small embankment in the park near Mikhael’s apartment, he had taken her off the long stilts, which kept her two feet above the ground and put her on the lower ones which only allowed her to rise twelve inches. She did much better on those, but after a few days she was dying to try the higher ones again.


     "I’m ready for them now," she told Mikhael who agreed with her. Her balance had improved quickly on the lower pair and her confidence level had risen with her success. He switched her back to the two-foot high foot rests and watched her wend her way around the park on them. He definitely felt the pride that any parent or teacher experiences with the success of an effort by a youngster.

 
     "You have mastered the art," he said to her midway through the third week.


     "Thanks. It’s not so hard." She smiled at him and from the way she smiled he knew there was a question coming and he already knew what it was. Before she could continue he answered her unspoken query.


     "Yes, Freddy, I have higher ones. And yes, Freddy, you can try them tomorrow." She hugged him hard and was laughing with anticipation when she finally let him go.


     "You’re wonderful," she said as she stepped back a step. "Wonderful. A wonderful friend!"


     "And you too are wonderful, Fredericka," he responded. "You are more wonderful because you have done so much so quickly."


     "But it’s easy," she laughed.


     "Is it?" He looked just a tiny bit crestfallen. "I took much longer to master this art."


     "You’re a boy," she said, "and boys always take longer. Girls are quick studies and are naturally graceful. Boys are awkward."


     "I am not awkward," he said trying to contain his annoyance at her pronouncement.


     "No, not especially, awkward," she admitted.


     "Then why did you say that?"


     "I don’t know, Mikhael." She paused. "It’s what girls say, I guess."


     "Well boys say things too."


     "Don’t I know it? They say a lot of them about me, I guess."


     "You still worry about ‘them?’ You are being foolish. You don’t need ‘them.’ You are better than them."


     "Oh, Mikhael, you sometimes say the nicest things."


     "You’re welcome, Freddy."


     "I didn’t say thank you."


     "You did, though," he told her. "In your way, you did."


     He took the stilts from her and before she could say anything more, he was off, on his way home, the stilts balanced on his shoulder.


     The next afternoon he met her with two pairs of stilts, their foot rests set considerably higher than any Freddy had managed thus far. They kissed once briefly as he greeted her before leading her by the hand to a nearby park bench. He climbed onto the seat, pulling her up alongside him. They faced the upright crossbeams of the bench’s back. Mikhael handed her a pair of stilts, keeping one for himself. These he planted on the ground behind the bench. Freddy followed his lead.


     Mikhael climbed up on the back of the park bench, his arms held high on the upright beams of his stilts. He had chosen a position that would give him extra support, his feet flanking the two side of the cement that formed the brace arch for both seat and back support.


     "Come on, do the same," he said to Freddy who was trying to pull herself up to his position. She was having a harder time than she had previously had when following his lead.


     "I can’t get my balance," she said.


     "Here, watch me," he said clambering down to the seat again. "Do what I am doing. You hold both of the stilts in your right hand and to the right of the upright, see?"


     She nodded and followed suit.


     "Then you place your left foot at the top of the seatback, like this." He did it and she did also. "Then you use your weight to balance as you pull yourself up there. Come on, do it. See, see how your right foot comes up to meet its mate?"


     She did, actually, and she told him so.


     "Now you put down your right and you are home free."


     Freddy did as she was told and found it worked.


     "Now what?" she asked, but she already knew what came next.


     "Now separate the stilts and put one on each side of your feet, on the outside, Freddy. OK. Move one foot to the foot rest. Good. Now the other. You have it. Come. Let’s walk together."


     Awkwardly they moved away from the park bench, Freddy a bit unsteady standing on the small wooden beams which were an extrusion from the stilts themselves. Mikhael moved naturally, but Freddy, at this new height, seemed to be unsure of herself. The boy kept reassuring her about her skills, her abilities, telling her how well she was doing, but he had no way to help her in case of emergency. This had worried him but he was sure she could manage the taller stilts and still manage to add the purchase of an ice cream cone if they were lucky enough to find a vendor.


      They walked on their three-footers for almost a half mile, their steps lengthy, giving them the opportunity to cover four times as much ground in the same time. As they walked Freddy would shout questions at him, but he could easily let them pass if he wanted too because he could feign an interest in his, or her, difficulties in passage. She only made two attempts to ask him about his father this time before dropping the topic for the day. It no longer mattered as much to her as it had a few weeks earlier. Now her thoughts were devoted to Mikhael and the stilts. She loved the stilts.


     Unable to locate an ice cream vendor, Mikhael turned his steps in the direction of the Central Park Zoo; Freddy followed him instantly, thrilled at her sudden sharp turn not bringing her down to the ground.


     "I’m much steadier today," she shouted after his retreating back.


     "I know." His call came from very far away, it seemed. "Come on, catch up."


     "I will, too," she called back to him. She increased her pace, lifting her legs as best she could while holding on to her stilts at the top. She saw him veer off to the left and she decided to do the same thing, only sooner, to possibly head him off by so-doing. Using her hands to steer herself she moved to the left, lifting her left stilt and turning her leg in that same direction, pulling her right foot and stilt after her. It was a long, hard pull, much moreso than she had considered while making this drastic turn. Her miscalculation had obvious results: she tripped herself forward, lost her balance and fell in the direction of the large granite stones that piles up the hillside on this side of the park. They loomed up quickly, heading right for her face. She swivelled her hips, hoping to break her fall and possibly even avoid the slabs of stone altogether. Instead she landed on her side, her hip protected from the natural obstruction by her stilt, but without anything to cushion her arm. She knew, before she even heard the sound, that she was about to break her bones. She was right.


     The pain was intense. It was all she could do to not scream and carry on. She wasn’t going to be the prim and proper "girl" in this situation. She was going to tough it out like a boy, like a prince of a boy would. Several people, witnessing her fall and probably even hearing her body connect with the rocks, rushed to her side to offer what help they could. Mikhael was nowhere in sight, certainly not there among them.


     "My stilts," she muttered. "Did I break my stilts?"


     "No, not really," someone said, someone young she thought from the sound of his voice. "Are you an acrobat?"


     "No." She grunted out her response to the question.


     "Ok. Sorry," came the voice in reply.


     "What did you mean, not really?" she asked, gasping for air, still not screaming her pain.


     "One of them looks chipped, is all," said the boy, she knew now it was a boy.


     "Help me, please, someone," she said and she began to cry. Her pain was suddenly overwhelming now that her lungs were providing her with the proper amount of air. "I’m hurt, I think."


     "Can I help you stand?" the boy asked.


     "Leave her alone, boy," said an older a person, a woman Freddy thought. "You never move an accident victim."


     "Here’s a cop," someone else shouted. "Hey, officer, over here. This little acrobat girl has hurt herself."


     Freddy heard, rather than saw, the crowd parting a bit to let the policeman through. She saw the brim of his hat, then his face, then his uniform with its dark uniform blue hues. He held out his hands and gently touched her arm and she shouted out words she hadn’t known she remembered, none of them what people associated with young girls. A few of the by-standers stood back a bit. Not the boy, however.


     "We need an ambulance, I think. Can someone go and call an ambulance?"


     "Yeah, I will," said a man somewhere in the crowd.


     "No need," the cop called after him. "I’m radioing now." He held up his walkie-talkie. "It’s a done deal. Folks, please step back a bit. Give the kid a chance to breathe."


     Officer Cathcart asked her a few questions, her name, her age, her phone number so they could call her mother. She responded to everything as she normally would but with each question, or rather each answer, she was more and more in pain. When he was done, she asked about Mikhael, about her friend.


     No one remembered seeing him. No one knew where he might be. She called out his name, but there was no response.


     "I’ll be your friend for now," the boy said, the one who talked to her already, the one who had called in the police.


     "I don’t need another friend," Freddy said.


     "I think you do," the boy replied. "I think you must because your other friend seems to have disappeared somewhere."


     The logic of his reasoning made sense, but Freddy wasn’t eager to accept it or to accept him. She called out to Mikhael again and again got no answer.


     "He doesn’t seem to be anywhere," the boy said.


     "He must be close by. I was following him when I fell."


     "He’s gone now," someone else told her.


     "What does he look like?" a woman asked.


     "He looks like... well, he’s on stilts like mine," she said suddenly unsure how to describe Mikhael. She could see his face and even his clothing, but she couldn’t quite describe them out loud.


     Two people removed themselves from the rocks where Freddy lay in pain. They were back quickly to report on their findings. "No one on stilts out there," they both said, almost simultaneously.


     "He must be," Freddy insisted, but she knew they were right. She knew that Mikhael had gone on without her for some reason.


     "I’m here," the boy said. "Let me help, please."


     She thought about this for minute, a long, long actual minute, before she spoke.


     "Okay. My name is ...."


     "Yes, I heard you tell the cop," he said. "My name is Maxwell Draper."


###


 

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