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SMALL IRONIES: Prologue

Chapter One

Chapter Two

Chapter Three

Chapter Four

Chapter Five

Chapter Six

Chapter Seven

Chapter Eight

Chapter Nine

Chapter Ten

Chapter Eleven

Chapter Twelve

Chapter Thirteen

Chapter Fourteen

Chapter Fifteen

Chapter Sixteen

Chapter Seventeen

Chapter Eighteen

Chapter Nineteen

Chapter Twenty

Chapter Twenty-One

Chapter Twenty-Two

Chapter Twenty-Three

Chapter Twenty-Four

Chapter Twenty-Five

Chapter Twenty-Six

Chapter Twenty-Seven

Chapter Twenty-Eight

Chapter Twenty-Nine

Chapter Thirty

Chapter Thirty-One

Chapter Thirty-Two

Chapter Thirty-Three

Chapter Thirty-Four

Chapter Thirty-Five

Chapter Thirty-Six

Chapter Thirty-Seven

Chapter Thirty-Eight

Chapter Thirty-Nine

Chapter Forty

Chapter Forty-One

Chapter Forty-Two

Chapter Forty-Three

Chapter Forty-Four

Chapter Forty-Five

Chapter Forty-Six

Chapter Forty-Seven

Chapter Forty-Eight

Chapter Forty-Nine

Chapter Fifty

Chapter Fifty-One

Chapter Fifty-Two

Epilogue

Three Continents

From the ship at sea 1

From the ship at sea 2

From the ship at sea 3

From the ship at sea, 4

From the ship at sea, 5

From the ship at sea , 6

From Rio!!

The Trip Home

NEW SHORT STORIES

Nothing There For You

Nothing There For You, 2

Nothing There For You, 3

Nothing There For You, 4

Chase of The Thrill, 1

Chase of the Thrill, 2

Chase of the Thrill, 3

Chase of The Thrill, 4

Of Course, part1

Of Course, part 2

Of Course, part 3

Of Course, concluded

In Memory: Of My Cruise 1

In Memory: Of My Cruise 2

In Memory: Of My Cruise 3

In Memory: Of My Cruise 4

Las Vegas, 1

Las Vegas, 2

Las Vegas, 3

Las Vegas, 4

Las Vegas, concluded

Mad Moment #1

Mad Moment #2

Mad Moment #3

Mad Moment #4

Margaret Never Knows, 1

Margaret Never Knows, 2

Margaret Never Knows, 3

Margaret Never Knows, 4

Margaret Never Knows, 5

Remote, part 1

Remote, part 2

Remote, part 3

Remote, concluded

POETRY

April's Fools

Easter Sunday

...simple answers

And when they come at me

Fogged In

BROADWAY/NYC THEATRE

Love, Linda

Curtains

Barrington Stage Co. 2010

Art

Pool Boy

Sweeney Todd

The Whipping Man

Freud's Last Session

BSC ARCHIVED REVIEWS

Carousel

The Fantasticks

I Am My Own Wife

Mysteries of Harris Burdi

Private Lives

See Rock City. . .

Sleuth

...Spelling Bee

A Streetcar Named Desire

This Wonderful Life

To Kill a Mockingbird

Trumbo

Underneath the Lintel

The Violet Hour

Berkshire Opera

Le Nozze di Figaro

La Boheme

Berkshire Theatre 2010

The Guardsman

Endgame

The Last Five Years

K2

BTF ARCHIVED REVIEWS

BTF Archive

The Book Club Play

Broadway by the Year

Candida

Candide

The Caretaker

A Christmas Carol

The Einstein Project

Eleanor: Her Secret Journ

Faith Healer

Ghosts

A Man For All Seasons

Noel Coward in Two Keys

Pageant Play

Prisoner of 2nd Avenue

Red Remembers

Sick

Waiting for Godot

Chester Theatre Company

Tilted House

The Dishwashers

Almost, Maine

Blackbird

Copake Theatre Company

Nine Months

I Do! I Do!

Sour Grapes

Talking Heads

Grace & Glorie

Dorset Theatre Fest 2010

Murder on the Nile

Fallen Angels

The Pavilion

DORSET ARCHIVED REVIEWS

The Hollow

June Moon

Marry Me a Little

Merton of the Movies

St. Nicholas

A Year with Frog and Toad

Ghent Playhouse

Prisoner/2nd Avenue

Mrs. Farnsworth

Complete Wm Shakespeare

Puss in Boots

Belles

Enchanted April

Dancing at Lughnasa

The Boys Next Door

Jack and the Beanstalk

Clue: The Musical

6 Women...

Picnic

Hair Loom!

Over the River, etc.

Literature

B ob Dylan

Christmasville

A Lesser Saint

Upstreet, #1

Mac-Haydn Theatre 2010

Damn Yankees

Chicago

The Secret Garden

Anything Goes

MACHAYDN ARCHIVED REVIEWS

Beauty and the Beast

Chorus Line

Crazy For You

Hairspray

Hello, Dolly!

High Society

Joseph. . .Dreamcoat

Meet Me in St. Lou

Phantom

The Sound of Music

Sweet Charity

Music

Journeys by Robert Baksa

Mary Verdi: Precious Love

Mahagonny

NYSTI

Romeo & Juliet

And Then There Were None

King Island Christmas

A Legend of Sleepy Hollow

The Philadelphia Story

Yours, Anne

Orphan Train

Of Mice and Men

Twelve Angry Jurors

Anastasia

1776

Macbeth

Miracle On 34th Street

Arsenic and Old Lace

American Soup

Ordeal By Innocence

Reunion

OLDCASTLE ARCHIVED REVIEW

"Almost, Maine" in VT

Beauty Queen of Leenane

The Grass is Greener

One Two Three

Third

Restaurants

Bezalel Gables

Blantyre

Brazillian

Burrito Bound

SPICE!

Shakespeare & Co-2010

The Winter's Tale

Richard III

Mengelberg and Mahler

Julius Caesar

SHAKES & CO ARCHIVES

The Actors Rehearse...

All's Well That Ends Well

Bad Dates

The Canterville Ghost

Cindy Bella

Dreamer Examines Pillow

Goatwoman of Corvis Count

Golda's Balcony

Hound of Baskervilles

The Ladies Man

Liaisons Dangereuses

Othello

Pinter's Mirror

Romeo and Juliet

Shirley Valentine

Twelfth Night

White People

Special Attractions

"Earnest" in Albany

Life Is Short

Paris, 1890--Unlaced

BCC's A Christmas Carol

Sister's Christmas Catech

The Pajame Game

Her Name is Vincent

Property Known as Garland

12th Night

I Know I Came...Something

Forbidden Broadway

Doubt, a Parable

Voices' A Christmas Carol

Dickens A Christmas Carol

Marie Galante

Machinal

Capitol Steps

Late Nite Catechism

Rabbit Hole

Taming of The Shrew

Mystery of Irma Vep

I Love a Piano

The News in Revue

The Mikado

Saturday Night Liv

A Chorus Line

BCC - Christmas Carol

Morgan O-Yuki

Rent

Stageworks Hudson 2010

Imagining Madoff

Or,

Theater Barn 2010

Spider's Web

Red, White and Tuna

THEATER BARN ARCHIVES

Dirty Rotten Scoundrels

Forever Plaid

Grease

How the Other Half Loves

Leading Ladies

Moonlight and Magnolias

The Mousetrap

Murder at Howard Johnson

The Musical of Musicals

Romance, Romance

Same Time, Next Year

Veronica's Room

Visiting Mr. Green

Zanna Don't!

Visual Arts

Walking the Dog Thtr 2010

Our Town

WALKING THE DOG: ARCHIVED

Cyrano

daemons

The Gospel of John

i take your hand in mine

The Owl and the Pussycat

Under Milk Wood

Vritue, Desire, etc.

Walking the dog's HAMLET

Weston Playhouse

A Raisin in the Sun

Rent - Weston

25th Spelling Bee

Fully Committed

Les Miserables

No Child. . .

The Light in the Piazza

Williamstown Theatre 2010

After the Revolution

Six Degrees of Separation

Samuel J. and K.

Funny Thing II

Funny Thing/Forum

It's Jewdy's Show

WTF ARCHIVED REVIEWS

The Atheist

Beyond Therapy

Broke-Ology

Caroline in Jersey

Children

David Storey's "Home"

A Flea in Her Ear

Knickerbocker

Quartermaine's Terms

She Loves Me

Three Sisters

The Torch-Bearers

True West

What is..Cause of Thunder

Chapter Thirty-Eight

From The Reader’s Digest, April, 1946:

"Vive la Différence!

From a harassed teacher comes this tale: Initiating my young pupils into

the mysteries of the French language, I explained that ‘Madame’ was

used in speaking of a married woman; ‘Mademoiselle’ an unmarried

woman; and ‘Monsieur’ a gentleman. To see if the children understood

I turned to a boy who seemed rather bored and asked: ‘What is the

difference between ‘Madame’ and ‘Mademoiselle?’‘

’Monsieur,’ came his prompt reply."

Samuel Pepys Teucer, in Hamilton, Bermuda, Royal Gazette

          I didn’t want to go to London just to be told we were turning back around to the country again. I thought we’d take in a show, go to a club, roam the streets into the light of dawn and end up back at the flat having sherry. That was what I anticipated, always, with Drew. That was what I wanted but Drew, I knew, had other plans: dinner, an interminable evening at the piano while pretended, badly, to be Noel Coward and Ivor Novello combined, then what he considered a hot roll in the hay. I had reached the point where none of this was really appealing.

          With Freddy along it seemed to be an even worse idea spending the evening this way. In the car I thought I’d chat about this with her. To my surprise, she wasn’t the least disturbed by the prospect of a quiet, family evening, even with the sexual encounter afterward which would, naturally, exclude her.

          "Don’t be silly, boy," she said. She punched me in the thigh as she said it. "I know you want me and not Drew, but he is the work and he is the man. Do what you must."

          "And you don’t mind it?" I wasn’t sure I could believe her words.

          "No. I get it. I know what the deal is, Max."

          "Well, I wish I did. This wasn’t meant to be my life, you know. It was a single roll in the hay, to thank him for kindnesses and consideration after Paul...."

          "Yes, I know. You’ve told me the whole story before."

          "Look, Freddy, if I didn’t think we were meant to be together - once all of this work is over - then I wouldn’t be keeping up this front right now."

          "Max, if its meant to be, it will be. If I’ve learned nothing else in my life, I’ve learned that much."

          I looked carefully at her as she said this, and I watched her eyes, her nostrils and her chin for moments afterward. I was anticipating a tear, a flare, a shudder, but there was none of those things. She was steady and regular, nerves tight and pleasant at the same time. She seemed to be the person she said she was and the "lesson" she’d learned seemed to be at the core of her being.

          "I envy you, then," I answered her. "I don’t have such personal knowledge."

          "But you do, Max. You’ve known it longer than I have, much longer in fact. I think I first learned all this from you."

          "How do you figure that?"

          She reminded me of a time I’d forgotten, a period in our early friendship when she and I had banded together to fight off Mikhael who’s urges were getting the better of both of us. We had never explained our motives to one another, but we were very much in agreement about not wanting him to push us around. That was our bond. He was abusing me sexually and abusing her intellectually. It was my senior year in high school and I was very vulnerable. Freddy was already a sophomore at Hunter College and Mikhael, who seemed to feel that education was not something that he would need to support himself in the future, was demanding far too much for us.

          "Don’t be a stupid ass, Max," he said to me as he pulled himself up off of me. "Just be my ass, and carry me where and when I want you."

           "I’m not stupid, Mikhael," I said to him, letting my exasperation at this attitude show through my words. "And I won’t be your jackass any longer."

          "You will be mine for as long as I need you."

          "I won’t. I’m tired of this."

          "And how do you intend to make this different, Max?" He had that smirk on his face that I always thought was so attractive, until now. "Just what do you intend to do about this?"

          "I’m not coming back here," I said. We were, as usual, in his apartment. "And I’m telling Freddy everything."

          "You won’t do that." He sounded so calm, so in control, that it frightened me.

          "Won’t I?"

          "No, Max. I shan’t allow it."

          "How do you intend to stop me, then?"

          "Like this, naturally." He grabbed me suddenly and pulled me forcefully into an embrace and then he kissed me hard, his tongue grappling with my clenched lips. As he held me I felt myself slowly give up the struggle and in a minute or less we were back at the sexual acts that seemed to please him and to aggravate me.

          When it was over, this reprise of our fun, he lay on his side, his hand tickling the seven or eight hairs on my chest. "Was that so difficult to understand, Max?"

          "What do you mean?"

          "You cannot say no to me. It is impossible for you."

          "I will someday."

          "Yes, on the day I marry Freddy, you will be free of me, at least as my playmate. But I will still find a place for you, if you want it."

          "I won’t be your servant. You’re not my king, Mikhael."

          "No, of course not. You are an American boy, free to choose. I am not free. I have no choice in these matters. I must do what the chair demands, what my father would have me do."

          "You and that chair, that Skialatum or whatever it is...."

          " Lidskialfa, Max."

          "Whatever."

          "And you won’t say a word about our afternoons to Freddy."

          I was frowning hard and it hurt my face. "I won’t."

          "What a good boy it is," he said.

          Meanwhile Freddy was having her own hard time with him. No suggestion she made about things they might do together hit home with him. He was always calling the shots with her, just as he did with me. It made her mad and it was frustrating. She would want to see a show, and he would refuse to go to something "frivolous" with her. She might want to go dancing or to a party, but refused saying that being in her company was all he needed and she should feel the same way - of course she didn’t know about me at that point, about me and Mikhael and our afternoons.

          One day we had ice cream together at Schrafft’s, as she was now reminding me, and Mikhael became the subject of our dialogue. I was shocked to hear about the way he treated her. To me he always spoke of her as his Queen and I thought that meant he adored her enough to do whatever would please her.

          "Why does he call you his Queen, then?" I asked her.

          "He means ‘consort’ I think," she said. "Just someone to stand on his right side, look nice and obey his every whim."

          "Do you do that?" I asked, a bit shocked, thinking of my own relationship with him.

          "No. Don’t be stupid."

          That, of course, hurt a lot coming as it did so soon after he had called me stupid. They seemed too much in league for that moment.

          "What are you going to do, Freddy?"

          "I’m going to start going out with other guys."

          "Could you ever...?" I stopped, thinking what I was thinking about, being one of those others.

          "Ever what?" she said, sounding almost too demanding as she said it.

          "Oh, nothing." I took a deep, long sip of my soda, the ice cream clogging up the end of the straw.

          "You’re such a baby, sometimes," she said, smiling, "but I love you anyway. You give me something, you know."

          "I give you something. What does that mean?"

          "Max, you give me hope. And strength. I know you’d never be the dumb one in a friendship. You’d always stand up for yourself."

          "I do that?"

          "Yes, you do. And you always seem to know that if something is meant to be, it will be. I see that in you."

          "Wow!"

          I smiled as she told me the story from her point of view, reminding of that time from our childhood. I didn’t tell her about the scene that preceded our ice cream date. I didn’t think she needed to hear about that now.

          We were approaching London and Drew was waiting to entertain us. We had to pass through one dark stretch of road and I knew the driver wouldn’t be able to see us for a while. I was counting on those seconds with Freddy, in the dark, in the car, to let us hold each other, not as friends, but as lovers. When the time came, she moved gracefully into my arms and we kissed, not as we had earlier, but in deep, romantic earnest, the way I knew we should. As the lights of the city began to intrude on us we pulled apart again. She took a small compact out of her bag and looked at her reflection in its mirror, adjusting a curl, removing a small smudge from the corner of her mouth.

          She snapped it shut and smiled at me. Then she put her hand over mine on the seat between us.

          "We’re going to be fine, Max. If I hadn’t known you since childhood I might not think it, but I have and I do."

          "I hope you’re right," I said. I smiled, hoping the smile was sincere enough to get me by, but deep in my heart I was dreading this night, dreading its outcome.

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