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SMALL IRONIES: Prologue

Chapter One

Chapter Two

Chapter Three

Chapter Four

Chapter Five

Chapter Six

Chapter Seven

Chapter Eight

Chapter Nine

Chapter Ten

Chapter Eleven

Chapter Twelve

Chapter Thirteen

Chapter Fourteen

Chapter Fifteen

Chapter Sixteen

Chapter Seventeen

Chapter Eighteen

Chapter Nineteen

Chapter Twenty

Chapter Twenty-One

Chapter Twenty-Two

Chapter Twenty-Three

Chapter Twenty-Four

Chapter Twenty-Five

Chapter Twenty-Six

Chapter Twenty-Seven

Chapter Twenty-Eight

Chapter Twenty-Nine

Chapter Thirty

Chapter Thirty-One

Chapter Thirty-Two

Chapter Thirty-Three

Chapter Thirty-Four

Chapter Thirty-Five

Chapter Thirty-Six

Chapter Thirty-Seven

Chapter Thirty-Eight

Chapter Thirty-Nine

Chapter Forty

Chapter Forty-One

Chapter Forty-Two

Chapter Forty-Three

Chapter Forty-Four

Chapter Forty-Five

Chapter Forty-Six

Chapter Forty-Seven

Chapter Forty-Eight

Chapter Forty-Nine

Chapter Fifty

Chapter Fifty-One

Chapter Fifty-Two

Epilogue

Three Continents

From the ship at sea 1

From the ship at sea 2

From the ship at sea 3

From the ship at sea, 4

From the ship at sea, 5

From the ship at sea , 6

From Rio!!

The Trip Home

NEW SHORT STORIES

Nothing There For You

Nothing There For You, 2

Nothing There For You, 3

Nothing There For You, 4

Chase of The Thrill, 1

Chase of the Thrill, 2

Chase of the Thrill, 3

Chase of The Thrill, 4

Of Course, part1

Of Course, part 2

Of Course, part 3

Of Course, concluded

In Memory: Of My Cruise 1

In Memory: Of My Cruise 2

In Memory: Of My Cruise 3

In Memory: Of My Cruise 4

Las Vegas, 1

Las Vegas, 2

Las Vegas, 3

Las Vegas, 4

Las Vegas, concluded

Mad Moment #1

Mad Moment #2

Mad Moment #3

Mad Moment #4

Margaret Never Knows, 1

Margaret Never Knows, 2

Margaret Never Knows, 3

Margaret Never Knows, 4

Margaret Never Knows, 5

Remote, part 1

Remote, part 2

Remote, part 3

Remote, concluded

POETRY

April's Fools

Easter Sunday

...simple answers

And when they come at me

Fogged In

BROADWAY/NYC THEATRE

Love, Linda

Curtains

Barrington Stage Co. 2010

Art

Pool Boy

Sweeney Todd

The Whipping Man

Freud's Last Session

BSC ARCHIVED REVIEWS

Carousel

The Fantasticks

I Am My Own Wife

Mysteries of Harris Burdi

Private Lives

See Rock City. . .

Sleuth

...Spelling Bee

A Streetcar Named Desire

This Wonderful Life

To Kill a Mockingbird

Trumbo

Underneath the Lintel

The Violet Hour

Berkshire Opera

Le Nozze di Figaro

La Boheme

Berkshire Theatre 2010

The Guardsman

Endgame

The Last Five Years

K2

BTF ARCHIVED REVIEWS

BTF Archive

The Book Club Play

Broadway by the Year

Candida

Candide

The Caretaker

A Christmas Carol

The Einstein Project

Eleanor: Her Secret Journ

Faith Healer

Ghosts

A Man For All Seasons

Noel Coward in Two Keys

Pageant Play

Prisoner of 2nd Avenue

Red Remembers

Sick

Waiting for Godot

Chester Theatre Company

Tilted House

The Dishwashers

Almost, Maine

Blackbird

Copake Theatre Company

Nine Months

I Do! I Do!

Sour Grapes

Talking Heads

Grace & Glorie

Dorset Theatre Fest 2010

Murder on the Nile

Fallen Angels

The Pavilion

DORSET ARCHIVED REVIEWS

The Hollow

June Moon

Marry Me a Little

Merton of the Movies

St. Nicholas

A Year with Frog and Toad

Ghent Playhouse

Prisoner/2nd Avenue

Mrs. Farnsworth

Complete Wm Shakespeare

Puss in Boots

Belles

Enchanted April

Dancing at Lughnasa

The Boys Next Door

Jack and the Beanstalk

Clue: The Musical

6 Women...

Picnic

Hair Loom!

Over the River, etc.

Literature

B ob Dylan

Christmasville

A Lesser Saint

Upstreet, #1

Mac-Haydn Theatre 2010

Damn Yankees

Chicago

The Secret Garden

Anything Goes

MACHAYDN ARCHIVED REVIEWS

Beauty and the Beast

Chorus Line

Crazy For You

Hairspray

Hello, Dolly!

High Society

Joseph. . .Dreamcoat

Meet Me in St. Lou

Phantom

The Sound of Music

Sweet Charity

Music

Journeys by Robert Baksa

Mary Verdi: Precious Love

Mahagonny

NYSTI

Romeo & Juliet

And Then There Were None

King Island Christmas

A Legend of Sleepy Hollow

The Philadelphia Story

Yours, Anne

Orphan Train

Of Mice and Men

Twelve Angry Jurors

Anastasia

1776

Macbeth

Miracle On 34th Street

Arsenic and Old Lace

American Soup

Ordeal By Innocence

Reunion

OLDCASTLE ARCHIVED REVIEW

"Almost, Maine" in VT

Beauty Queen of Leenane

The Grass is Greener

One Two Three

Third

Restaurants

Bezalel Gables

Blantyre

Brazillian

Burrito Bound

SPICE!

Shakespeare & Co-2010

The Winter's Tale

Richard III

Mengelberg and Mahler

Julius Caesar

SHAKES & CO ARCHIVES

The Actors Rehearse...

All's Well That Ends Well

Bad Dates

The Canterville Ghost

Cindy Bella

Dreamer Examines Pillow

Goatwoman of Corvis Count

Golda's Balcony

Hound of Baskervilles

The Ladies Man

Liaisons Dangereuses

Othello

Pinter's Mirror

Romeo and Juliet

Shirley Valentine

Twelfth Night

White People

Special Attractions

"Earnest" in Albany

Life Is Short

Paris, 1890--Unlaced

BCC's A Christmas Carol

Sister's Christmas Catech

The Pajame Game

Her Name is Vincent

Property Known as Garland

12th Night

I Know I Came...Something

Forbidden Broadway

Doubt, a Parable

Voices' A Christmas Carol

Dickens A Christmas Carol

Marie Galante

Machinal

Capitol Steps

Late Nite Catechism

Rabbit Hole

Taming of The Shrew

Mystery of Irma Vep

I Love a Piano

The News in Revue

The Mikado

Saturday Night Liv

A Chorus Line

BCC - Christmas Carol

Morgan O-Yuki

Rent

Stageworks Hudson 2010

Imagining Madoff

Or,

Theater Barn 2010

Spider's Web

Red, White and Tuna

THEATER BARN ARCHIVES

Dirty Rotten Scoundrels

Forever Plaid

Grease

How the Other Half Loves

Leading Ladies

Moonlight and Magnolias

The Mousetrap

Murder at Howard Johnson

The Musical of Musicals

Romance, Romance

Same Time, Next Year

Veronica's Room

Visiting Mr. Green

Zanna Don't!

Visual Arts

Walking the Dog Thtr 2010

Our Town

WALKING THE DOG: ARCHIVED

Cyrano

daemons

The Gospel of John

i take your hand in mine

The Owl and the Pussycat

Under Milk Wood

Vritue, Desire, etc.

Walking the dog's HAMLET

Weston Playhouse

A Raisin in the Sun

Rent - Weston

25th Spelling Bee

Fully Committed

Les Miserables

No Child. . .

The Light in the Piazza

Williamstown Theatre 2010

After the Revolution

Six Degrees of Separation

Samuel J. and K.

Funny Thing II

Funny Thing/Forum

It's Jewdy's Show

WTF ARCHIVED REVIEWS

The Atheist

Beyond Therapy

Broke-Ology

Caroline in Jersey

Children

David Storey's "Home"

A Flea in Her Ear

Knickerbocker

Quartermaine's Terms

She Loves Me

Three Sisters

The Torch-Bearers

True West

What is..Cause of Thunder

Chapter Thirty-Four

From The Readers Digest, April, 1946:

                From Ultimates: "At a dinner in St. Paul, Minn., Mayor John McDonough 
               limited the oratory of each speaker – all politicians – to the time he could,
   or would, hold 25 pounds of ice in his bare hands."

 

          We were back together, it seemed, and that was all that mattered. We had cleared up the misunderstanding, Paul and me, and now all I had to do was clear up the other one with Drew. Of course, that would be easier. He already knew my goal was to patch things up with Paul and move on. Also, it was clear to me that moving on from Drew would be a no-brainer. We had only spent the shortest time together and though I could see, already, that he has a serious intent, I had been fairly clear about not returning those feelings. I told Paul what I had to do, sort of, and left to do it.

          I said "sort of" because I hadn’t really told Paul everything.

          "I stayed with a friend," I said to him. "I have to go collect my things." He had known it was Drew. We had fought over it, but finally he had given in, allowed me to end things cleanly with Drew, and not to leave this kind man the way he had deserted me on the ship.

          "I won’t be long, Paul," I said. "It’s a quick goodbye and I’ll be back here."

          "Of course, dear boy. You know where you’ll find me."

          "Thank you, Paul, for finally understanding."

          "When one is as ol’ .... when one is as experienced as I am," he said, "one can understand a great many things." He smiled at me with that warm smile he used when he was serious. "You go finish up with your ‘friend’ and I’ll make a few calls to reconfirm arrangements. Don’t be long, Max."

          "I won’t. I promise." I leaned up to kiss him on the cheek. I thought that was a nice, friendly gesture. Paul held me by the shoulders and changed the chaste buss into something more sensual, more erotic. When he pulled himself away from my lips I could still smell his stage makeup, could hardly breathe in, in fact, without smelling it.

          "Don’t be long," he repeated. I nodded as I backed out of his dressing room door. There had been something in the tone of his voice as he said those three words that made me tremble, just a bit. It was as though the request had been more of a warning than anything else, as though the phrase "or else" had been left off at the end of it.

          Outside his dressing room I paused to lean against the wall and recompose myself. I took a few short breaths, my hand pressed to the side of my face. I was sweating. I was panting. My legs felt none too steady. When my breathing slowed to a more normal pattern, which happily didn’t take long, I left the building and headed back to Leicester Square and Drew’s flat.


          "You’re back," he said, and he smiled the broadest smile I’d ever seen.

          "I’m not, actually," I said to Drew. "I only came for my things."

          He was silent. He looked at me carefully, examining my eyes and my mouth and my neck for any signs of tension or indecision.

          "I see," he said, "that things have gone well for you with your old friend."

          The kindness in his statement was clear to me when he said "old friend" and never stressed the word "old" but did emphatically endorse the word "friend."

          "He understands the mistakes that were made," I said.

          "And he forgives you and he forgives himself."

          "Well, yes, sort of."

          "And now what happens, Maxie?"

          "Now we go on as before."

          "How very Noel Coward of you both."

          "Yes, sure. Whatever." I wasn’t really sure what that meant but it seemed like agreeing would be the easiest way to go.

          "You’ve come for your things, the few things you’ve left here."

          "I came to tell you that this was the course I’ve set for myself. Most of my stuff is still at the hotel, you know that."

          "You didn’t want to just abandon me then?"

          "No, of course not." I reached out to touch him but he pulled back a few inches. "You’ve been kind to me Drew. And I know you’re interested in me. I didn’t want to just disappear on you, not the way Paul did on me."

          "You’re really very sweet, aren’t you?" He sat down on the chintz divan near the window.

          "No. I’m not. You really don’t know much about me, Drew. You don’t know about my family and our ways."

          "Of course I do." He smiled at me again. "You don’t think I take any young baggage into my life without knowing a bit of background, do you? When we first met on the ship and I found myself so attracted to you I set a few people moving around New York to make a few inquiries. I know something of your history."

          "You do," I said, not a question, not a statement, just a few words to bring the conversation back into my ballpark.

          "I know about your mother and your father and how they have lived. I know about your sister, too. In fact, I know your sister."

          "You know..."

          "Brianna, yes. She’s been attached to a friend of mine for some time now."

          "You never said anything."

          "And I probably wouldn’t have if this moment in our friendship hadn’t happened, Max."

         "What were you expecting from me, Drew?"

          "Just what occurred."

          "You mean...?"

          "Precisely. I knew you would spend the night, do the tricks, satisfy the need."

          "And then what, Drew? What did you think would happen next?"

          He gave me a curious look, then patted the cushion of the divan where he had seated himself and indicated that I should sit down next to him. I hesitated, but then I went there and sat.

          "I thought," he said quietly, "that you would ask me for money. I’m sorry, but I did. Knowing what I know I thought you would expect to be paid for services rendered."

          "I have never..." I started to say, angry and hurt.

          "I know," he said stopping my rant before it could begin. "I know you have never done that. But we had what most people would call ‘circumstances’ going here Maxie. We had the oddness of desperation - on both our parts. I thought you’d fall into family pattern, that’s all. But you didn’t. You were sweet. You were gentle. You were honest with me. You did what I wanted because you wanted to do it. I realized that soon enough."

          "Well, thanks for that!"

          "Maxie, don’t be angry with me. I’m just a stupid, lonely man fixated on the son of prostitutes. How could I think anything other than I did?"

          "I don’t know, Drew, but at least I know that Paul has never thought of me the way you did."

          As I said those words I remembered the final moments in his dressing room, when he had kissed me the way he had. It was the first time I had ever felt the way I did with him or anyone. Mikhael who had abused me in so many ways had never made me feel like a whore and Paul had done exactly that with his goodbye kiss, not an hour before. Now Drew was telling me that he had expected me to make him feel like a client, a "john" but I hadn’t. He was telling me that I was better than he had thought me. I leaned back against the arm of the divan and my head leaned further back toward the open window. I sucked in the air of London, not fresh but at least not stale.

          "I’m wrong," I said. "I’m so wrong."

          "Max, what is it?" Drew’s voice was deeply, honestly concerned.

          "I’m like a five year old, suddenly. I trust the older folks because I should, because I’ve been taught that my elders know best."

          "Max?"

          "Drew, you knew about me and offered me your friendship, yes?"

          "Yes."

          "And Paul knew about me and offered me his."

          "All right."

          "But there’s a difference, Drew. Until this moment I never saw it, but there’s a difference."

          "Explain, please."

          "You used me because you thought you could, but when I didn’t use you, you honestly thought we could be something to each other. Is that right?"

          "Yes. You know it."

          "Paul, who needs me desperately, only needs me while he needs me."

          "I’m not following you here, Max."

          "There’s something wrong, Drew, something wrong with the way Paul needs me. There’s a trick buried in it somewhere. He wants more from me, but he wants it...I don’t know...now."

          "What are you trying to say, dear heart?"

          "Paul is through with me. Somehow I know that from his, well, his way with me when I left the theater."

          "The concert hall, Max."

          "Yes, whichever, it doesn’t matter. He is used to me doing for him, picking up after him, packing him up, moving him, overseeing his things. He needs me to do that, and to make him feel young and handsome and virile. His calling card on stage is that eternal youth. He needs me for that."

          "I’m sure you do your job, Max."

          "It’s more than a job, Drew. It’s a vitality he draws from me, through my work, through the sex, through whatever he else he can get from me."

          "He sounds vaguely vampirish to me."

          "That’s exactly right, Drew. That’s what he is - without the teeth and blood stuff, but it is like that somehow."

          "How does one get mixed up with such a person?"

          "He’s an old family friend. I’ve known him since I was a kid."

          "Max, what are you going to do now?"

          "What do you mean?"

          "Well, you cannot go back to him, obviously, not now, not knowing what you now know. And I doubt you’d want to stay with me, either. Not now, not knowing what you now know I know. What are going to do?"

          "I don’t know."

          I sat there, leaning hard against the corner of the divan. Drew got up and went into the kitchen, coming back instantly with a glass and a bottle. He uncorked the wine and poured me a large tumbler of the deep, red liquid which I downed without a breath. He refilled the glass and handed it back to me.

          "Better?" he asked.

          "No, but it will be in a minute or two."

          "I have a thought," he said. "May I suggest something?"

          I nodded.

          "I could call a friend of mine. Have him come over. Introduce you to him. See where that takes you."

          "What? Be my pimp?" I jumped up from the couch, horrified at the concept.

          "No, no. You misunderstand me, Max. The friend I refer to is your sister’s ... man."

          "Oh! You mean, bring Brianna into this mess."

          "Only if Geoffrey thinks it wise. I’d want him to meet you first."

          "You would do that?"

          "Of course. You may not have gathered this, but I do like you. Sincerely."

          "Well. Okay."

          I knew at that moment that I would not return to Paul Donner’s rooms, that I would not accompany him and lose myself in servitude to him. That phase of my life was truly over, really behind me. He had been good to me for as long as he believed that I had no interest in anyone else but him and myself. He had turned on me, would likely do it again when he could. I had sensed that somehow when I left him at Wigmore Hall, but hadn’t understood it. Drew was a better person that either Paul or me, but there was still something hard for me to grasp in him. I didn’t know where he stood, or where I stood for that matter, on the reality of my past and my family’s past. But here he was calling in the troops, my sister’s keeper. He was doing it openly, and without the slightest hesitation. He was a friend to me, a friend indeed.

          "Can I stay here, in the meantime?" I asked him. "No strings attached?"

          "No strings, no threads," he replied. "I’ve only the one bed, as you know, but I promise to be entirely chaste where you’re concerned. You need have no fears on that score."

          "Call Geoffrey, then," I said, "and thanks for that. You have no idea how much I appreciate it."

          "We’ll see what transpires, shall we?" I nodded. "Max, you are welcome to stay here for as long as I can handle the burden of you being here. I want you to know that. I’ll let you know when it’s too much for me, if that time arrives. If nothing else, you’ll be an unburdening place after my hours with Mum."

          He went into the other room to place his call to Brianna’s friend and, for the first time since I had left Paul’s dressing room, I breathed normally and without any pain in my chest. Even my heart felt right again, no angst, or pain, or fear constricting it. I was without funds, without future, without much else but the unfettered friendship of Drew Hatton.

          I didn’t feel alone, and that was a miracle.

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